I started Messy Adventure years ago because moms facing special challenges with their kids can often feel alone. Sometimes that story is hard to share, but know this sweet friend, you are certainly not alone. Here are a few words about our story that have been harder for me to share over the last couple years…
I started noticing it when she was really young. At three, she still did not know her ABC’s. She would get mixed up halfway through the song. So I started singing the alphabet with her every night before bed. My oldest knew the ABC’s by 18 months. Still she met most of the obvious milestones, so it wasn’t of any major concern, and of course her health battles were our top priority. After her non-functioning left kidney was removed right before she turned 4, I sat back in relief waiting for everything to get better.
And initially some symptoms were remedied immediately. She no longer had episodes of vomiting. You could tell she felt better, was happier, and started to come out of her shell more. But still other problems surfaced. The year after her surgery feels so much like a blur.
We had a long battle, 6 months, with pinworms. This I would not wish on my worst enemy. The relatively simple treatment that works for most didn’t work for her. Ultimately, we discovered it was because she was severely constipated and colon impacted, even though she would go to the bathroom most days, sometimes to the point of diarrhea.
She was also keeping a cold, mostly a cough and congestion, and could not shake it. The cough would get so bad we were sent to a pulmonologist.
While waiting to see the pulmonologist, we went back to the allergist and started seeing a holistic nutritionist. Eventually, we learned she did not have asthma but a dust allergy and dairy intolerance. Once we started tackling both of those issues, we saw improvement in the constipation, GI issues and cough. This was a two year process.
She started school and was behind. But mostly we associated it with health issues. In November of her kindergarten year, she needed tubes because of low levels of fluid that were preventing clear hearing. Immediately, we saw some improvement in her learning.
She progressed to the first grade, but at home I began to see manifestations of extreme anxiety. Yes, she was behind academically, but it was how she would talk about herself, and the once smaller sensory issues now growing larger that frightened me most and pushed us to go to a psychologist for a full evaluation.
Her current diagnosis is ADHD. But because all brains are different, all ADHD kids are different too. Her main struggles are attention, working memory, executive function, sensory processing and anxiety. They all work together to create a pretty big storm in a little girl’s mind.
We are tackling this on all fronts.
Therapy with a wonderful pediatric counselor.
Accommodations at school with an amazing team of teachers and tutors.
Holistically through diet and supplements with the help from a nutritionist.
We are also scheduled to see a psychiatrist to learn about medication options.
As with everything, the right help takes time.
ADHD is a term thrown around a lot. Frankly a lot of mental health terms are. And I’d argue that often the phenomenon of overuse hurts and does not help the people really struggling. Please be careful with your words.
When I was pregnant with both of my children, I would pray for them, and for each of them God graciously gave me a word. For my sweet girl, the word was precious. She was the first girl born in our family in 106 years, and before I even knew her gender, the Lord gave me that word. It is not necessarily a girl’s word, but it made me think of a flower. As she has grown and faced each challenge, I have thought of her like that precious flower, but God recently shifted my view. One of her favorite songs is “Shine Bright Like a Diamond” by Rihanna. She isn’t precious like a flower, easily trampled or withered, oh no, she is precious like a diamond, and a diamond is one of the toughest substances in the world. One of a kind and shining so incredibly bright!
I could spend a lot more time and use a lot more words to share details of our story. I am available if anyone wants to talk further. The most important thing I think I could say is this; listen to your kids and advocate for them. God gave them you and that’s pretty precious too.
Live well friends,
Christy
